Tuesday, April 2, 2013

To I Do or Not To I Do

NightDaddy and DayDaddy are both legally registered as male. Despite the myriad of possible opinions on the matter, we are considered under Swedish law as a same-sex couple. Well, not yet. The powers that be don't know we're a couple.

We're not married. We don't even live together yet. In the beginning of our relationship, we were determined that we would walk our own relationship path at our own pace, conventions be damned. So far, this has been working out pretty well for us.

Our path lead us to a planned pregnancy together first and it looks like we'll be shacking up together starting in June.

Then comes the next decision: Do we register as "sambos?" This is the Swedish equivalent of a domestic partnershipish type thing. It doesn't automatically happen when I change my address to his our flat. We have to traipse on down to the tax office and fill out a form or two in order to be recognized as a "couple." And what does that mean? I have no idea. I have a feeling it has something to do with taxes and... stuff? It feels like a fairly grown-up thing to be doing, so we probably ought to check that out.

The alternative is, of course, to get hitched. Yes, we can do that in Sweden. We can even do it in The Church of Sweden. Yay, equal rights and all that jazz! But do we want to?

Here's the thing, though. DayDaddy has already been married once before. (I was young, he was beautiful and I needed a residence permit, okay?!) That relationship crashed and burned in epic posting-Gotye-lyrics-on-Facebook proportions. This time around... I'm in no rush.

NightDaddy? He wants a big beautiful traditional wedding: When. We're. Ready.

That said, I do occasionally ask him to marry me.

I asked this morning.

I called him up from my office: "So when we're on Gotland for vacation this summer with our folks, wanna get married?"

He laughed.

I laughed.

"Just checking" I said.

"See you tonight."

"I love you."

"Love you too."



  1. Checking in from BB :D Love this post and I'm glad you found someone not only to have a family with, but someone who is willing to take things at a pace that works for both of you. I can't wait to read more :3

  2. Weee! My first comment! Thank you :)

  3. Your relationship dynamic sounds absolutely great. I think I'll enjoy this blog!