Sunday, November 24, 2013
About that Baby...
Our little Piggelin was born on September 7th, 2013 after 19 hours of labor (17 at home and 2 at the hospital). And she's the best. I know this kind of goes without saying, but guys? WE LOVE THIS BABY!
The birth and first couple months were a wee bit too intense for blogging.
There were some interesting matters that deserve a little sharing, a little reflection and since writing here is quite a relaxing platform for expression, they will make their way up here in good time.
We do do things somewhat... differently, around here and we're all for minority visibility.
We're still a two dad family, even though one of the Swedish government agencies has decided that we're not. So we got ourselves a fucking awesome lawyer and somebody's gonna get schooled. At first we were shocked and angry and outraged. It's DayDaddy writing, so I'm going to switch to the first person. Despite having a male legal designation and carrying a male passport and Swedish law stating that legal sex changes must be fully recognized, the tax ministry has decided to list me as Piggelin's mother in all her records. Now, in the U.S. this would be a big deal. In Sweden, it is absolutely unacceptably awful. Why? Because all records like this are public and they follow the kid around everywhere. Her preschool will see me listed as her mother, social services will see me listed as her mother, the health clinic, the hospital, probably even the fucking library. So? What's wrong with that? I gave birth didn't I? Because I'm a dude. I have a dude name. I have a legal dude gender. I sound like a dude on the phone. I look like a dude in person. And now that I'm back on testosterone, I'm only going to become more dudeish. We are going to be (and have already been!) asked why I am listed as her mother. Repeatedly, over and over again for the entirety of her childhood. I'm not interested in having a conversation about my vagina with the director of Little Sunshine Summer Camp or the coach of her junior high handball team. And I don't even want to know what's going to happen if we try to register her birth with the American embassy with the papers looking the way they do now.
We're also an international, cloth diapering, elimination communication, baby-wearing, donated milk/glass bottle feeding, co-sleeping, inter-generational, multilingual kind of family. These are the parenting styles we were attracted to before she was born and so far they're going pretty great! We already have some stories around these topics that we're looking forward to writing up :)
/DayDaddy (who ironically ended up being the daddy who does the night shift)